Children Are a Heritage from the Lord
Amy Ho—Edinburgh, UK
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” (Ps 127:3)
In the name of Jesus I testify about how God granted us our very own heritage.
LONGING FOR CHILDREN
Ever since I was young, I have been a person who loves children. All I ever wanted was to be a mother and housewife. I never had any career aspirations at all. When my two sisters were born, I would happily sit by their crib and gaze at them, waiting for feeding time so that I could lift them out of the crib and hand them to my mother.
Naturally, after marriage, my husband David and I planned to start a family quite quickly. We naively thought that it would happen as soon as we wanted it to. I thought to myself, if we start trying for a baby now, in nine months’ time, we will have one.
However, the months passed, but I did not get pregnant. Initially, I would get upset every month that it didn’t happen, especially as people around us seemed to get pregnant easily, and had their babies, and some even had their second ones. It seemed that everywhere, at work, at church, on the streets, there were pregnant women and babies. I had such a deep yearning inside every time I saw them.
TURNING THE FOCUS AWAY FROM MYSELF
Gradually, we accepted our predicament and prayed for comfort from God and for patience to wait for His timing. We realized that life is indeed in the hands of God and not something we can control.
We also heard comforting sermons that really helped us. One was about how God’s will is higher than ours. Another was about how God granted Hannah a child once she started to think about what God and His people needed. Both sermons touched me greatly.
I began to try to think more about what God wanted from us. Maybe I had been quite selfish before, thinking that I could have a break from everything once we had a baby. I had only moved to Edinburgh recently—maybe God wanted me to do more first? Ultimately, God’s time is better than our time, even if we think we’re ready, God’s will is always the best. I also heard about some other couples who had to wait for years before they had children.
I stopped focusing so much on my desire for a baby and concentrated on doing more for God. I decided to use my time wisely, to do more for Him while we didn’t have a family. God helped me to find joy in doing church work.
Besides, my husband and I did more things as a couple, went to places we wanted to, bought things we wanted to, thought about our careers, etc. But deep down, I always had a sorrow in my heart that something was missing from our lives.
HOPE IN WAITING—REMEMBERING GOD’S GRACE
I wondered if it was God’s will that we didn’t have children. We both agreed that we wouldn’t go for fertility treatment. I was willing to explore the option of adoption because I loved children so much. I felt that I could take any child and love him as my own, especially when I looked at all the children at church. Yet we didn’t take this step because David always believed that we would eventually have our own child, and I thank God that he had this simple yet firm faith.
During the few years that we waited, I constantly thought of God’s grace to us in the past: When I was very young, I suffered from severe nosebleeds, losing so much blood that my mother would pray to God that she accepted His will if He wanted to take me away. By His mercy, these nosebleeds stopped in my teenage years and I have enjoyed good health ever since. I also recalled how God brought me and David together—from complete strangers to getting married in less than two years after being introduced through a preacher. This helped me to remember His providence, to seek comfort and to keep faith in Him.
In addition, I found comfort from the Bible: how Joseph endured years of tribulation, how God led the Israelites out of Egypt, how God granted children to Rebekah, Rachel, and Hannah.
In January 2010, we were overjoyed to learn that I was pregnant. We had been waiting for this day for three and a half years! However our joy was very short-lived when I miscarried at nine and a half weeks. When it happened, we were heartbroken. It felt like our world had been shattered. Never did I expect this to happen after waiting for so long. It felt that our future looked very bleak; we had to start all over again and who knew how long it would take to fall pregnant again?
That day David and I prayed together, asking God for comfort and for us not to murmur but to accept His will. Amazingly, by the next morning, God had dried our tears and we felt peace in our hearts. Truly, this was comfort from God.
GIFT OF GOD
It took another year before I finally became pregnant again; thank God, this time everything went very smoothly and the pregnancy was very enjoyable!
God also granted His grace to us during the birth of our baby. After an hour or so of unsuccessful labor, the doctor examined me and said that although the baby’s head was facing down, delivery might be difficult as the baby was facing the front instead of the back. They suggested I try a little longer but then they would have to take me into theatre to try and turn the baby. If they couldn’t do that successfully, they would perform a caesarean section. As soon as I heard that there was a possibility of a caesarean section, I prayed to God in my heart, hoping that it could be avoided as recovery would be longer and more painful.
I tried harder but without any success and was finally taken into theatre. It was a quite daunting experience with all the medical staff doing things around me, and my body was anesthetized in preparation for the caesarean section. However, on examination, they found that the baby had turned himself and could be delivered with forceps. I thank God that in the short journey up to the operating theatre, the baby had turned and the surgery could be avoided!
Finally, on September 03, 2011, our son Matthias, meaning ‘gift of God’, was born. Our happiness was beyond anything that words could describe. We were also overwhelmed to see how happy our family and friends were for us.
Even now, I often cannot believe that he’s here. It is a wonderful feeling that the burden in my heart has been lifted, and I no longer need to walk around with the sorrow that was with me for years. Matthias is a happy and healthy baby: indeed our most precious gift from God.
ALL THINGS ARE IN GOD’S HAND
I thank God that He sustained our faith throughout this period of waiting. During that time, I truly experienced how blessed we are to be married in the Lord, so that we could pray together and support each other to sustain our faith.
Indeed, God will never give us more than we can bear, and He disciplines us or refines our faith because He loves us:
Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful: nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Today I appreciate much more that everything is in the hands of God. In this day and age when we’re so used to having everything we want at our fingertips, it was very humbling to wait for God and His timing.
No matter how much we make plans for our lives, we should remember that everything is in the hands of God.
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make profit”: whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow.
His will and timing may be different to ours, but it is always the best and we need to submit to Him.
With this, I would like to give my heartfelt thanks to God and ascribe all glory unto His name. Amen.